A Dream Visit

It was just a year ago, during our annual Christmas season long distance phone call, that my childhood friend, Keppy, told me she was dying of inoperable cancer. The news was devastating as this wonderful woman had been a friend for over 50 years. And she was a true pioneer, breaking down barriers for women in the Episcopal Church and becoming one of the first women ordained as a priest.

Right after the phone call last December, I made her a shawl from soft yarn the color of the sea. She told me she could feel my love when she wrapped herself in it. I thought of her as I sat knitting and remembered so many times she and I had laughed together.

She died in August, just before the hurricane bearing her name hit New Orleans. She was not in pain thanks to wonderful hospice care, and her husband was with her and held her.

She came to me in my dreams last night and I could hear her laughter as I told her some of the stories of my move here and the adventures I have had since last summer when we last talked. In the dream we were in her kitchen in Coalinga, California where she and George lived when I was in Marin County and where we visited a couple of weeks before Christmas 1965. Forty years ago. We touched base in person or by phone every year since then.

Yes…loss is on my mind. I cannot escape it. Memories charge in and take over in my dreams if not when I am awake. It is hard not to think of her now. But I know her spirit is with me this season. My dream was our visit this year.