Darkness

Darkness is my friend. I wrap myself in it like a soft blanket, pull the shades, draw the curtains, check the door locks. The lamps give a warm comforting glow. It is a relief to be out of the fray. I feel safe at night, and as the hour advances, I know no more demands will be made on me for that day.

Daylight makes demands. You have to be dressed and prepared for an unexepcted knock on the door. You can't go to the mailbox in your pajamas. Or the phone rings and you are expected to answer it or return the message. You open the curtains and turn off the lamps and the world comes in and grabs you. The dogs are barking and you have to see why. There are errands to run...the bank, the library, the post office. Meetings to attend. Commitments to keep. Life to be lived.

In my dotage, it is all too much. Been there, done that. Just can't get wound up about a trip to the grocery store. Shopping is a chore and not at all pleasurable. I don't want to talk to anybody about anything. None of what is happening outside my door touches me. I am innoculated against the world here at The Hideaway. I wait for nightfall and draw a deep breath as daylight seeps away.